Time for an intervention.
I’ll just get right to it. Stop acting stupid. Your lack of self-awareness and need for edgelord attention was loads of fun on Twitter. But now you decided to interlope your way into the Trump regime. I can’t handle this much Elon all the time. Familiarity breeds contempt.
Do I think you could act more professionally? Yes, I do. Put the fucking chainsaw away. This is politics, it should be somewhat boring. Can you handle boring, Mr. Musk?
You could learn a thing or two from your arch-rival Mr. Soros, like how to exert your influence from behind the scenes.
So what this means is you are now overplaying your hand. I don’t know what it’s like to be on the spectrum, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to act like a douchebag.
Here’s the thing bro, slow down. You are destroying people’s livelihoods. You might have all the money, but there is one thing money cannot buy, and that is the respect and favor of the American public. (Well, unless you guys follow through with those DOGE checks and send them to the poorest)
Everyone is watching you very carefully. Wipe that smug look off your face. People have become resentful and angry. Some are becoming completely unhinged. You sure you wanna head down this path? Stop trying to control everything. See a therapist about your insecurity.
Read the room, dick. You have no social grace! Hire a life-coach or a PR agent before you end up destroying your reputation.
Nobody notices your autistic quirks when you are in CEO nerd Ted-Talk techno-libertarian mode. Whenever you venture outside of this setting, however, it gets ugly. Ultimate cringe compilation.
There’s no nice way to say this, Elon. Fuck you, bro. You are sucking up all the air!
You are not the fucking CEO of America!
I did not elect your rich ass!
Stop being a cringey attention whore!
The US government is not your fucking social-media platform, asswipe!
Learn how to act like a public official and a public servant.
Just give us the facts and don’t insert your own edgy opinion into it.
This is not your fucking birthday party. Stop jockeying for the spotlight!
I want to see less of you. This means shifting your priorities. There are other important matters for you to attend.
Maybe you could spend more time with your 13 children! Speaking of children, isn’t there another mistress you should be impregnating? How long has it been since your last child? 3 weeks? Woah, that is a long time! Better get on it, bro!
When it comes to Elon Musk, a little bit goes a long way. We will let you know when we need a refill, Elon.
Now sit down. Be humble. Stick to your knitting. Focus on your duties to the American taxpayers. Drain the swamp. America First.